So here we go with another spiritual update. As of the last few days the ol’ spiritual life is going pretty good. As well as life. I am enjoying it heaps. Especially the mad lightning storm last night. I am really drawn to the lightning for some reason, I love it. I’ve had some good highlights which you’ll hear about in the general email. But anyway heres a few more things I have discovered over the last little while.
Insecurity
First of all I have discovered how insecure I have become again. Pretty sad coz I thought I was past all that but one night I went to a bible study in our dorm and there was this guy that was younger than was running it. I got intimidated spiritually coz he is more spiritual than me and I am used to being the one running the group. Anyway so satan was trying to make me have a scab attitude. You know. Thoughts like ‘what would he know he hasn’t gone to bible college’ ‘yeah so what if he knows that, I bet I have more friends’ etc etc. But I admitted that to him and the group and I did pretty well during the bible study. But then after it was over I was still intimidated and scared that ‘what if he is better than me’ So I started thinking things like. I bet hes no good at sport (turns out he wants to run a marathon!!) Yeah well I bet he’s not writing a book…so on and so forth. That just made it pretty plain obvious that I am totally insecure and my sense of worth is not coming from God like it should be. Need to relearn some lessons.
And a little while back in Sports Psychology we had a talk on Goal setting and how it helps with sports performance, I got to thinking, I wonder if I should apply goals to my spiritual life and then I remembered what Paul said.-
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)
Phillipians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Anyway the point is. Goals are good and I have been running aimlessly without them.
I have been waddling along with no goal, or a real broad one that I forget about (pleasing God). Instead I have just been becoming passionate about a million things (I could name at least 20!) Whatever tickles my fancy at the time. Without a goal there is no purpose or aim, just a wasting away of life. So I have come up with a few goals.
Video game decision Every hour I spend playing video games I must spend an hour with God. Have stopped playing internet games and started playing the Nintendo instead! I spose at least it is interaction with others.
* To remember certain Bible verses
* And probably some other ones. Either way. Its good. Go goals. Pity Collingwood doesn’t share that attitude.
Another thing I have learned. I knew but my memory has been refreshed. People are not projects. You don’t just go round and hang out with someone like they are a project, otherwise when my side of the project is complete (them becoming a Christian) then I have no use for them. I have never been their friend I have just been working on them like a project. I realized I did this the other night. And not even coz I love God that much it was more the fact so I wouldn’t feel guilty, so I could say, hey I did something.
Oh yeah I have been struggling with guilt a fair bit lately too I reckon. Ive been finding it hard to figure out which guilt comes from God. Like when I feel like I shouldn’t be doing something, is that God or is it not. Its pretty hard.
And lastly…
I am discovering more and more how dependent on God I really am. I think I have realized how much I suck, but I am even finding out that even after all God has done for me I still can’t choose to choose him. Even knowing he is real and knowing what he has done for me and I still can’t follow him with all my heart, I can’t even make a commitment to do that because I know I will fail at every turn and be sinning within the next day. I need his help so much. I know so much that I will fail trying to listen to and obey his voice. In saying all that I don’t want to try place all responsibility on him because it is my responsibility when I hear his voice not to ‘harden my heart’.
So, spiritually I would say I am getting better. And life wise I am going great. So much fun stuff is going on. Lets hope I can remember God when I am doing it, which by the way I have been doing a bit more which is good. He deserves all the credit for any fun I find in life and I’m finding a whole lot, and If I can’t find it I will make it!!
Hope you are all doing sweet
Love Andrew
PS: Looking forward to some good God time (and Derek) in NZ.
Due to popular demand and some arm twisting. Tony Tardio has made the return to the news desk to give you some of the latest news updates.
Well hello again dedicated viewers. Im tony Tardio. Welcome to the news.
If you cannot be bothered sitting through a full episode please scroll down the bottom and read the poem which gives a brief summary of recent events. However; it is much funnier if you listen to the news.
October 8th
This was quite an eventful day as Andrew went downtown for some a leisurely game of paintball. Leisurely was not how he described it in his post game conference. Words such as ‘dismal’ and ‘stupid jerks shooting me’ frequented his vocabulary.
His shooting statistics: 500 shots 0 hits.
His shootee statistics: hit 5 times including once in the ear.
Bruises: One beauty to the right lovehandle which he assured the press he didn’t ‘love handling’
Cost $25. Which Andrew soon reduced to $23 as he spotted a sign that only he could saying that if you had groups of 10 or more you are eligible for a $2 discount. They got the discount. Turns out his group only had 9 members!
Later that evening he made an hour trek out to a Haunted Corn Maize. This involved him and his recently befriended classmates to trek around a maze mowed in a corn field, riddled with hidden “monsters” who we assume get paid roughly $2 per hour.
He and his Aussie counterpart Kevin were chosen to lead early ‘without torch’. As all American attempts to lead the group failed dismally. So without torch they trekked. Constantly on the lookout for underpaid ugly monsters.
Minutes later Andrew unwittingly stumbled upon a well hidden chainsaw murderer who proceeded to start up his bladeless chainsaw and scare the evening’s eatings from Andrews digestive tract into his underwear. These accusations were fiercly denied, but the proof was in the pudding which there was no longer traces of, in his stomach.
Andrew continues to deny all such allegations.
After this ‘brief moment of uncertainty’ as he chooses to term it, Andrew proceeded promptly to the back of the group. He resided there for the remainder of the trip.
Opting to let the others in the group ‘experience the thrill of leading’ which was his way of saying, ‘let them take the hits’.
October 10th
Now for an update on an argument we have been keeping track between Andrew and his racquetball teammates. Andrew argued that you ‘could too, break the racquetball courts windows by throwing a bowling ball at it, so ner’ Obviously the rest of the team disagrees, and, there is really no way for us to find out. So lets just leave that there…
Hang on I’m just getting something from Jenny. ‘Yes Jenny, this better be important’
‘Really, are you kidding’ ‘Yes I know you aren’t a goat’ ‘Ok, whatever, we’ll now cross live to Jenny’
‘Thankyou jerk, I mean Tony. I’m here at the Hammonds student centre where, while diving for a ball SMS racquetball player John slipped and put himself through the glass. CLEARLY SHATTERING his hopes of being a star. He’s in a lot of PANE right now. He’s both physically and emotionally BROKEN one could say…oh sorry moving on.
Bystanders say there was a movie like glass shattering sound followed by a guy that resembled John curled up in a ball on the ground with glass all over him.
Panic stuck but relief soon followed as John gingerly picked himself up and remarked to the coach ‘Now that’s what I call hustle’. Noticing his good humor Andrew took the opportunity to offer his comforting words ‘So…I guess a bowling ball would go through the glass’ That is all I have to report at the moment. Back to you in the studio
Thank you Jen for that rather interesting report. Now for the embarrassment stakes. Which has entirely nothing to do with a restaurant that can’t cook cows.
Andrew had a ripper opportunity to move well ahead in the embarrassment stakes but failed to capitalize. Taking part in a late night raffle, surrounded by at least one hundred others all praying to win the DVD player he stood. Grasping his tickets firmly he heard the first number read out. 8… his face lit up, knowing he was in with a chance. The second number 6...his expression turned to hopeful anticipation. 7… “Yes, woohooo, yes, oh yeah” the crowd heard him scream as he leaped off his chair and started forging a pathway through the crowd claim his prize. One last glance at his victorius ticket before he hands it to th…wait on. Our high tech cameras have just revealed his ticket has the number 868 printed on it.
Realising this Andrew quickly raised his hand and shouts over the noise “sorry its not really me and manages an embarrassed laugh”. The real winner quietly making a pathway on the other side of the room through the stunned crowd, who by now had assumed that, this idiot from Australia had just played a great joke on them. Andrew stayed until the TV was drawn and then hurriedly left.
He was caught up with by one of the bystanders very soon after. ‘That was real funny what you did’ they were heard to have remarked. Andrews reply “Hahaha, I wasn’t joking I really thought I had won’
That opportunity for some mega points has gone begging. No worry, though as Andrew failed to disappoint our watchful eye.
His accidental ‘punch in the head’ of black belt owner Jessica Easterby went down well with the media. Although he was reported to have locked himself in his room for the next 3 days.
Honesty is spoken about a lot in the media. But is it a quality worth possessing? You decide after this next embarrassing encounter.
Walking into Garst dining hall one Saturday night Andrew was spotted by his friend Kat who asked if he would be joining herself and her mate for dinner. Onlookers reported Andrews honest reply “Yeah, if I don’t find someone better to sit with”. This has sent shockwaves through the media and has catapulted his chances of being crowned ‘Sir Embarrasment’ His competition on the other hand seems to have lost all interest.
Back to more general news. Reporters followed Andrews weekend activities as he made a trip to St Louis where ‘fun was had’ and ‘money was spent.’
Highlights were going to “six flags” amusement park and spending time atop of the St Louis arch. A 100m tall arch which, to be honest was a waste of resources. The view at the top was described as ‘magnificent’, ‘scary’ and ‘scarificent’.
The major highlight of the trip came when Andrew stopped by a ford dealership owned by a fella with the last name Long. The dealerships name LONG FORD. Time was spent, energy was wasted, photos were taken, and fun was again; ‘had’.
October 17th
Today was a day for joyous celebration. As Andrew aptly put it ‘real life in America began’. It all started when Andrew received some mail, it all ended once he opened it. Inside, an Aussie Rules football. Tears of joy streamed down his cheeks. We later found he had heyfever and the tears were probably snot and the cheeks were probably a nose. The tears of joy report has been promptly fired.
The point is Andrew was very happy and grateful. He had this to say “Thanks mum. As for the rest of you slackers that said you’d send me a footy and didn’t come through with the GOODES! Tsk, tsk and again I say tsk”
Andrew also has joined thousands in the thriving industry of plasma donation. His first experience was; as he explained in detail to us, ‘exciting’.
It was reported the thing that hurt him most was ‘that stupid little needle’ they pricked his finger with to test his blood. ‘Ouch’ were his remarks to the nurse who swiftly replied ‘quit sooking, I’m a nurse not a nursery rhyme’
Andrew was taken aback by the nurses ‘made up’ comments but was later confirmed to have asked the nurse where to get those little weapons. Unfortunately she declined answering his question. Sources have been tracking of this nurse for months now and we are suspicious of her stockpiling these weapons of minor destruction. We’ll keep you posted on this situation as it develops.
Now on the ‘new craze’ scene here Tim.
Thank you Tardi... oh, my last names Tarido so I think I can rock up to work late and get Tim to cover for me…sure he wont mind…he’s just the clean… TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES…
We are now back with Phil, who has replaced Tim for this segment. It seems Tim has had a bit too much coffee if you know what I mean. Anyway, over to you Phil.
Hello, I’m Phil Strickland and I’m reporting to you from Hammonds House where a new craze has swept room 322. It seems James Bond on N64 has suddenly been rediscovered.
Rumor has it that Andrew has been making an appearance in this room every Tuesday night for the past 4 weeks to play James Bond along with other Nintendo classics such as Mario Karts. Fellow gamers however, are getting sick of the ‘why doesn’t my controller work properly’ excuse and are in the other room as we speak, voting on whether to give Andrew a 3 game suspension. Regardless of the result Andrew states that he has ‘enjoyed his time’
I’ve got a good feeling, so watch out for those N64 shares. Back to you Tony.
Thank you Phil for philling in. On that note it’s now time for the Stock exchange, heres Dave.
Thanks Tony. Big news is that Nintendo shares have plummeted and look set never to recover. Manly facial hair is on the rise and is rumored to have finally established a place on Andrews chin. Honesty has skyrocketed to an all-time high as has insensitivity. Big investments have been made in plasma donation for healthy returns, DVD shares stable but set to rise with the release of ‘Andrews movie’. Oil companies shares are feeling the pinch due to a shortage of supply from the east…of Andrews face. Book writing shares have dramatically risen of the fall break. And that’s about all for the share market today.
Moving on now. A war that resembles one much like the one Andrew had in year 12 has broken out between Andrew and fellow Woods resident Erika Jenkins. All predictions presumed this would happen far earlier as, “Andrew has a habit of starting fights by doing something stupid” as one of his close friends assures us.
Our reporters have discovered Andrew has been making mischief on floor four where a certain Erika Jenkins resides. His war propaganda was well received as was his fake ‘Congratulations on your engagement Erika…all the best’ signs which were seen sporting the entire 4th floor.
Reports confirmed Andrews’ decision to back out of his first poster idea.‘Congratulations on your unwanted pregnancy’. Reporters agreed this was a wise idea and would have been ‘over the line’ and ‘below the belt’.
A weak retaliation is set to occur. Far weaker than the fart bombs and smashed gnome he received in year twelve. The information we have shows that he is not living in constant fear as he was on the final Y.i.t.s camp. ‘Hahaha, Mick Peppereyes’ were his comments as he reminisced.
In entertainment news Andrews long overdue, self titled DVD is set to hit the shores of Australia in less than a week. Copies have been made and will be distributed to a select few people who are expected to burn them and send them to his other friends who want them. If you have any complaints dial 1800-it costs way too much to post em all. That’s 1800-38 16787…I can’t be bothered. Look it up on the web at www.toolazy.com
Now for the Weather Forecast
Clouds of boredom have finally arrived. Followed by waves of ‘immissingcanada’.
The Boredom clouds will soon disappear as we have a slight patch of ‘Stomp concert’ headed to this area. A band that drums with anything but a drum kit.
The word is Andrew is ‘excited’ and ‘can’t wait’ to be hit by this particular storm.
The weather is terribly cold in Missouri where it is reported that Andrew was forced to take a warm shower to combat the cold. This also rid his face of its hygiene drought and sent a plague of soapy goodness which decimated his pimple crops.
Signs of homecoming have been picked up by our radar. Homecoming is where a whole bunch of Americans make a whole bunch, out of a whole bunch of nothing. That week will involve free food all week, so nobody on this side is complaining about the cool change.
Halloween Tsunami is set to hit American shores on October 31st. Andrew plans to answer his door in this manner. ‘Hello, ween kids, would you like some lollies, I don’t have any candy’. It is also alleged that he will be dressing up as a cheerleader. Our cameraman is at the ready.
We’ll leave you tonight with a poem written by Andrew to sum up the last few weeks.
