Its about time for another spiritual update. I have been having trouble hearing God properly lately. I think I always have had trouble it seems like every time I try to listen to him I reckon I think of something that I love and assume I need to sacrifice it, or he is asking me to give it up.
A few examples of this is when I was back in Denver and I saw a homeless person and thought about giving him my jacket. A real nice jacket too. Anyhow I thought ‘Yeah but what about me’, ‘how am I going to keep warm’ I think that is the wrong attitude. As a Christian my life should be so completely not about myself that the first question that comes to mind is what about them. Anyway I’m not sure whether that was God or not just like I am not sure whether he is telling me to completely cut out contact from some American punk. It is seriously annoying trying to listen to God and not knowing whether I am just making it up myself or not. It doesn’t make sense to just shut someone out. But I guess it wouldn’t have made sense to Abraham to kill his son. ‘Gods ways are not our ways’. I am so confused.
I could be doing what someone talked about when they said these harsh disciplines have an appearance of godliness but are not (Colossians 2:23). So please pray that I can hear Gods voice clearly and obey it. I get so confused.
I’m also confused about Deuteronomy chapter 22. It seems really unfair towards women. A man pays 50 pieces of silver and the women are stoned for something I would consider less bad. Anyway read it yourself ey.
Another one of the lines to that song says. “Sometimes I feel disappointed by the way I spend my time. How can I further your kingdom, when I’m so wrapped up in mine”
Just yesterday I read Matthew 6:33 “Seek FIRST his kingdom and righteousness…” Lets be honest here, I am not doing that. I need to be putting him first making God my number one priority. And that line fits in so well although it hit me a long time before I read that verse. “How can I further your kingdom, when I’m so wrapped up in mine?”
On the 23rd I took a bus up north with really no idea where I would stay or anything like that. God was so good to me. I met this guy on the bus. When he asked if he could sit next to me I nearly said no coz I wanted to read etc. But I let him sit down and we started talking and he ended up inviting me back to his house which was really a boat. It was wicked. His family had me for Christmas and showed me some true hospitality. They even bought me presents for Christmas, it was so lovely.
I really experienced God providing for me like he says he does and tells us not to worry. Matthew. Infact even for New Years I was on an island and I didn’t bring any beers with me and so I prayed that I would be able to get a beer. Some girls came over and invited me to have a few drinks. I was so happy about that. God heard my vain prayer and still answered it. I spose if he can turn water into wine surely he can get me a beer for New Years. Good on him.
It was real good also because their family were Catholics. I found out some real cool stuff about the catholic way of faith. Like they don’t actually pray to Mary, Purgatory etc. In short. We are batting for the same team and I wasn’t too sure before I met these guys.
I was listening to some Mercy Me A while back but a few lines hit home in particular.
“I know I am living a good life, can my life be something great. I have to answer these questions, before it’s too late”
I feel like I am obeying the 10 commandments and that but its not enough. Having all these people look at you and say. Their a good bloke/blokette is nice, but it doesn’t really matter. The fact is, anyone can be a good bloke and obey a set of rules if they train themselves to. The father of the family I stayed with on the boat is a perfect example. He was not a believer himself but he would put a good percentage of us Christians to shame with his morals, generosity, care etc. So being good doesn’t really testify to God working in my life. I think there has to be something much more than just moral living coz like I said anyone can do that. I’m not sure what the answer is yet. Supernatural stuff is one that comes to mind but I’ll keep thinking about this.
Another one of the lines to that song says. “Sometimes I feel disappointed by the way I spend my time. How can I further your kingdom, when I’m so wrapped up in mine”
Just yesterday I read Matthew 6:33 “Seek FIRST his kingdom and righteousness…” Lets be honest here, I am not doing that. I need to be putting him first making God my number one priority. And that line fits in so well although it hit me a long time before I read that verse. “How can I further your kingdom, when I’m so wrapped up in mine?”
I am still realizing more and more how dependent on God we are. Even dependent on him for obedience??
Psalm 130:8 He himself will free Israel from every kind of sin…that could be the translation. Another one says he will redeem. Interesting anyway
Psalm 51:12 Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Again it might depend on the translation. Stupid NLT, its supposed to be good!!
I was sitting on the beach watching the waves the boats and the little things in the rock pool just beneath me and I thought of a verse in Psalm 105. I accidently read Psalm 104, that sounds bad… ‘I accidently read the Bible, I didn’t mean to! Whatever, I intended to read Psalm 105. Anyway it turns out Psalm 104 was perfect (which I didn’t figure out I was reading until I got to the next heading saying Psalm 105). 104 is all about God being powerful and creator, pretty amazing. What was more amazing was verses 24-27.
O LORD, what a variety of things you have made!
In wisdom you have made them all.
The earth is full of your creatures.
Here is the ocean, vast and wide,
teeming with life of every kind,
both great and small.
See the ships sailing along,
and Leviathan, which you made to play in the sea.
Every one of these depends on you
to give them their food as they need it.
One last thing. Since being on a beautiful island for 4 and today going to a zoo. I have decided that I do need to do my bit in helping the earth stay as pretty as it is. Mick’s email also showed me how ignorant I was, Gods beautiful creation did the rest. Anyhow I haven’t decided exactly what I will do yet.
So that’s about it for now. If you could manage to pray that I hear and obey that would be lovely. Doooo it.
Love Andrew
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