Well, after a lot of procrastinating on the computer playing games its time for another spiritual update. Last time you heard from me that’s what I was struggling to do. Spend time with God and not play too many computer games. Anyway the next week I did end up doing really well setting aside time for God each day, but the thing is, I didn’t remember him during the day, at all. And these last 3 or 4 weeks I have hardly remembered him during the day at all. And after that one week the quiet times stopped also. I don’t care for them if they don’t help me to pump it up with God throughout the day and I don’t understand why they didn’t help me remember God during the day, but, they didn’t.
Don’t worry, im not going out doing a whole heap of bad things during the day. Its what I am NOT doing during the day that worries me. I heard something really good on Christian radio back in the rat (yeah that’s right something good on Christian radio) anyway the guy was saying there are sins that you commit…for example the sins in the ten commandements. But then there are also sins of omission (leaving something out, for example not loving your enemies, forgiving people etc etc) and those are the things I am very guilty of. Things that God commands us to do and I have failed to do. Mostly for me its keeping my eyes fixed on God. Mmmm sins of omission. They are probably worse because you don’t think they are so bad so you fail to deal with them. Like you’ll treat a broken leg but you’ll hobble around on your untreated sprained ankle. I once wrote down in my journal that Christians should be known not for what they don’t do, but for what they do. So, that being the case, I am not doing the best. Please pray for me that I will not sin by leaving things out the God wants me to do, (Listening to and obeying him).
Heres some other thoughts and things I reckon could be useful. The first thing sounds really bad but follow me through to the end of it. If you don’t it wont make any sense.
Well, I’m helping out disabled kids in schools for one of my subjects. I was thinking the other day ‘what is the point’ we push them around in their wheelchairs and they are oblivious to what is going on. But that’s not my point. It brought me to my point which was, ‘why don’t we just shoot them, they can’t think, can’t speak, can’t do anything useful for society.’ (Like I said follow me with this). I am talking about severe cases of Mental retardation where the people cannot do a thing for themselves.
You see, we put down animals which are of more use than these people we euthanise people who are terminally ill and we put down people in comas, etc, etc and to me these people seemed a lot like that, except for the fact their heart was still beating without the aid of machines etc.
Anyway so I am thinking, why don’t we and knowing that there must be a reason why and looking for that reason. I tried to look at anything useful they could contribute to society but there was nothing, they cant speak, dress, understand…anything. But then I thought well, how else can they have value. Yeah God made them but that sounded really soft to me so I kept looking. Maybe I don’t understand the value God has placed in people like I should, otherwise I might have accepted that answer, knowing that peoples value does not come from their contribution to society…just because I couldn’t find value it doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.
I got down to thinking. The whole point of this life is to bring glory (fame, attention, praise) to God. And then it became clear to me that these sort of people bring the most glory to God. By far. They never take the attention away from him like I do. They never stand on a stage with their shiny clothes worshipping God, all the while taking the attention off him. They never have anyone say ‘oh, hes a good bloke’. They never take any attention from God but they sure bring attention to him. First of all for his goodness to everyone else. Secondly because people that come into contact with them have to practice real selfless love, no thanks, no gratitude, no upgrading in society. Selfless love. So to cut a long story short. I am the one that should be shot. I should be put down; I take more attention away from God than I bring to him. I probably take more attention away from him than I GIVE to him. Seriously.
That’s a pretty humbling thought. I probably need a few of those…so heres another one.
One day when I was back in
A while later I spotted what I thought was a cameraman taking photos of us. So I went up and said we could pose for some action shots. I went back and told everyone else and the four of us that had the boards, and even the one that didn’t (Sean) charged through the puddles and dived as hard and as fast as we could. We all went flying. Even Sarah.
After that I went up and talked to him. I think I said something along the lines of ‘what paper do you take pictures for’ or some trash like that. Anyway, turns out he was only a tourist from another country that had never seen people doing that before. Oh well.
Now for the point of this story… Suddenly Sarah didn’t need anyone to tell her to run faster she was lightning, suddenly Sean didn’t even need a board to skim across the puddle with!! We are so quick to suddenly bring glory to ourselves and so willing to do risky things to look good (get our pictures in the paper). We aren’t worried about consequences, we see the goal and we ‘go for it’.
How is that like with God. Am I that willing to jump at the opportunity to please God. Have I got my eyes fixed on him so much that I don’t worry about consequences or risks that I just ‘go for it’ like I did that day on the boogie boards and have done countless times since, for my own glory. I could give you numerous times where I have done something people will laugh at me for just to get a bit of attention (who knows how many times I have dress up as a girl now??!!)
The point is I seem more concerned and more willing to make sacrifices for myself than I am willing to make sacrifices to God. Sad. Good sadness…godly sorrow.
The last thing is a more happy God speaking to me occurrence.
One is that all girls are in actual fact beautiful (in the shallow skin deep sense of the word). You see, we are so surrounded by all these trashy sleazes and all these girls in magazines and on TV that if we see anything less that that we call it ugly. But guess what.
I was just imagining Adam by himself and then suddenly God creates what nowdays we would know as an ugly, fat, pimple faced woman. Im he would have been the last person to be complaining. I’m sure he was drooling and I’m pretty sure his fig leaf would have been raised within the first minute of seeing her. She is beautiful. No doubt in my mind. This scum jox world is the only thing that has made her ugly. Comparing.
Ooooh dont get me started on comparing, this whole world is set up comparing everthing. I hate it. Ooooooooooh mad. Most every compliment we give is a comparison. Think about that. Anyway, i wont get myself too worked up.
Aside from that. Another thing about girls. I have also realized how generous God has been in making them. The reason is, because he has made them so good, attractive etc, He has opened himself up to the risk of us boys ignoring him completely (vice versa). And in a lot of cases that is what has happened. What a generous God. Heres something you can say every time you find yourself looking at a girl ‘thanks God for risking me being distracted’
Well that’s about it. Its been good to hear some stuff from God and I hope it helps anyone out. Just remember to pray for me to focus on God. And on witnessing verbally again. Its the best, Sarweeeeeeet.
Love ye’all
Lorrrreeeeeee
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